Am I too late now? Or did you have someone else in your mind all along? It had only been a few months but I’ve already fallen. My heartbeat responds to your presence. I thought you felt the same. I thought you did.
I’m sorry that I’m not good in meeting your eyes. I’m sorry that I’m not good in acknowledging your presence. I’m shy & I’m insecure. I overlook my flaws & I count them everyday. You may be disgusted by my presence, that is why I tend to run away.
My emotions are a mess right now. I’m coming off as a person I hate the most. The fact that the silence bothers me is crazy. I find peace in silence. But not this time. I need to surround myself with loud noises. I need to go back to the person I was before.
Dwell in thoughts, in unnecessary feelings, in the memories of people who I have spoken with for the past hours, days, weeks, months & years. I kinda want to hibernate. I kinda want to lose my memories. I kinda want to die.
I have calmed down. It was only a sudden anxiety attack. I think it’ll be alright for me now. I still have to make myself understand that what’s past is past. I can’t keep lingering around what hurts me. I shouldn’t.
Help. I’m trapped in my own game. I’m stuck. I’m scared. I can’t get out. These thoughts of the past & people who hate me. Get them out. Get them out. I’m fucking scared.
Heavy sky befalls upon me. It’s charming. Ah, I mean you. Our eyes kept meeting. I don’t personally like it but I don’t want this whatever-you-call-it to end. I’m not sure what will happen next but, I won’t expect much
We’ve became too distant. I don’t want to keep trying. I should’ve stop long ago. I know what’s best for me. Sorry, but this time, I’m leaving. I’m not coming back.